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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23772661">I thought I lost you...</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/takethebreadsticksandRUN/pseuds/takethebreadsticksandRUN'>takethebreadsticksandRUN</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Magnus Archives (Podcast)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Fluff, Love, M/M, together, too lazy for tags today</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 10:54:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>695</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23772661</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/takethebreadsticksandRUN/pseuds/takethebreadsticksandRUN</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Jon is a terribly frightening puppy and Martin knows it and loves him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>86</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I thought I lost you...</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Thanks for reading! Please comment and tell me what you think, definitely open to constructive criticism. I hope you enjoy it!<br/>xxx</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Everything feels better after a shower. Martin dresses quickly, not bothering with his dripping curls. After being alone for so long, he wants to just be near people. Or, a person. A very amazing person who- Martin blushes, alone in his room. He forces his thoughts to change direction. </p>
<p>	When he walks into the kitchen, Jon is doing the dishes. He looks so at peace and happy, soapy up to the elbows. Martin sighs quietly. It’s been a while since he’s been happy. Jon’s grizzled hair is pulled back in a messy bun and he just is so…perfect. Martin leans against the doorframe, content to just be in his presence. At least, he used to be. Now, Martin’s not sure what he needs. Jon? Probably. </p>
<p>	Martin pads softly towards him and wrap his arms around him. Jon jumps and turns around, brandishing a sponge wildly. Martin laughs into Jon’s neck, “Did I scare you?”</p>
<p>	“I am a vessel of voyeuristic terror! I’m not scared,” Jon’s ears turn pink, “You should be afraid of me.” Martin smiles and lifts him into the embrace, (Jon’s so thin, remember to feed this poor man) breathing in the scent of his hair. Jon is tense at first, then melts into him, resting his head on Martin’s shoulder. They fit so perfectly together.</p>
<p>	“You terrify me, Jon.” He’s not lying. But it’s not for the reason Jon thinks. He is so afraid of being alone again, of the silence of the Lonely. The thought of waking up without him twists around his thoughts and nightmares.</p>
<p>	“Martin, I- “He sets Jon gently back on his feet. “I’m so sorry. For everything you’ve been through. I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you when you- “Jon shakes his head and turns away, trying to hide the pain welling in his eyes.</p>
<p>	“It’s okay, Jon.” But he interrupts Martin, words coming thick and fast now.</p>
<p>	“I wasn’t there for the people who matter most to me. I didn’t notice when Sasha was- taken. I was in a coma when the flesh attacked the institute. I couldn’t help Melanie; I couldn’t see how badly you were hurting.” Jon sets the sponge down and takes his hand. Martin flushes slightly, barely noticeable among the many freckles, his heart setting off mini explosions with every thump. “I can’t even wake you from your nightmares. I wasn’t there for any of them. I wasn’t there for you. And I’m sorry.” </p>
<p>	Martin pulls Jon to him and he hugs Martin, fiercely. “It’s okay. The dreams have stopped, now that I, um, sleep next to you. None of this is your fault. The Eye has put you through this. You don’t need to apologize. Just, be here. With me.” he nods, and Martin feels, well, he feels at peace as well. This peace is so at odds with their surroundings, he isn’t sure this is real.</p>
<p>	“Jon?”</p>
<p>	“I’m here, Martin.”</p>
<p>	“I know, it’s just,” He takes a deep, steadying breath, “Do you remember when you saved me from the Lonely?” Jon pulls back. For some reason, he looks nervous as well.</p>
<p>	“Yes, I do.” he says slowly, “What about it?”</p>
<p>	“Do you, um, remember what I said?” Martin can’t meet Jon’s eyes. That experience is tattooed on his brain, replaying over and over again without fail.</p>
<p>	“Which part? The part about how you confessed your past love for me?” there is a teasing tone in his voice, covering a deeper hurt. Martin senses this and shudders a little. Does Jon think that he-</p>
<p>	“Actually, erm, yes. The thing is, I loved you a lot. And I still might,” He stumbles over his words, “I mean if it’s okay with you. Jon, I love you.” The relief on Jon’s face is something Martin’s never seen before when he says,</p>
<p>	“I love you too. I was afraid that I had lost you, for good.” Jon presses a kiss against his lips, standing on tiptoe. “Now that we’ve got that sorted out, do you want to do the dishes or shall I?” 	</p>
<p>	That night Martin sleeps peacefully, and when he wakes, Jon is still there, holding him. Watching out for him.</p>
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